


Poetry From a Dead Boy

by HelmetParty



Category: Original Work
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-04
Updated: 2017-09-25
Packaged: 2018-10-14 20:38:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 1,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10543996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HelmetParty/pseuds/HelmetParty
Summary: edgy vent poems





	1. MARKS

I used to think that

there was a bright light

somewhere inside me.

Some sort of power

that i could wield if i tried.

I used to think that

my body was my own,

that i was in full control.

I used to think that

i am beautiful

i am me

i am worth loving.

They stepped on me

they ripped me apart

took what they wanted and left the rest behind.

I grew bigger

i cut my skin

scars of my own and nature occur.

My skin

my flesh

my face

my eyes

they all have marks that

keep me inside of this hell.

i am not in control.

I am not in control.

I am not in control.


	2. BURN

Please dont look at me

Please dont look at me

I dont want to burn your eyes.

Please avert them

Please look away

I know im not human

I know im disgusting

my skin protrudes with flesh unwanted

scarred by my own sins

Please look away.

Please look away.


	3. GOD

Contact is foreign

Like a human language to me.

Nobody has touched me

without foul intent.

I crave a hand on my head 

to pet me gently

But im not sure i know what that feels like.

I want someone to

make me beautiful

hurt me until i fix myself

I dont know the difference anymore.


	4. SORRY

Is it okay if i

have some pleasure?

Is it okay if i 

drain you of your ability to deny?

Is it okay if i

ask you for things i need

and make you give them to me?

Is it okay if i

make you miserable

just like me?

Im sorry

im sorry

im so sorry


	5. ENEMY

Ill eat your pain

Ill consume your flesh

Ill make you feel 

Human again

Ill hold you close

Ill help you live

Ill let you think

That you're a good person

But the truth is

Im the one

Who isnt human


	6. SAFETY

I wish the yelling would stop

so i could breathe 

i wish she would end up

dead, bones buried underneath.

I wish he would perish

be eaten alive

so that i could feel safe

inside my own mind.

My home is not a home

home is supposed to be safe

i feel unwell

in my own space.

The problems are always my fault

im always to blame

im really worried that

im going to turn out like him.

I just want to be safe.


	7. LIST

list after list

after fucking list

after fucking list

after days of nothing

after days of silence

after fucking days of fucking misery

god, just fucking kill me

and take the lists with you.


	8. NUMB

god i just want to fucking see blood

i want to fucking feel _anything_

ill do anything to feel 

just cut me all the fucking way up

take out my organs and tie em in a knot

and dont stop when i say no

i need to feel this

i need to feel

_anything_


	9. GOOD BAD GUY

you think youve seen me at my worst

well

good fucking luck

when i turn when the sky is red

and i bear my teeth

ill be laughing at your expression

because i would have told you

the best is yet to come

ill sit on my throne and eat the bones of whores

and watch you ask me

why didnt you tell me

ill laugh and 

watch you leave me

on my throne of

lies and worthlessness


	10. HOLD

~~dont~~ touch me

my skin burns with his fingers

she hates me

i dont want anyone to have to see me again

please ~~dont~~ touch me

 ~~dont~~ pet me

ill give you anything

i just ~~dont~~ want to feel the warmth

of someone i _trust_

hold me

im not entirely sure what it feels like.

**~~dont~~ **

touch 

me


	11. THATS LIFE

each time i find myself

flat on my face

i stay there

and wallow in my own fucking piss and misery

god just fucking use me

thats all im good for anyways

ive been up and down and over and out

and i know one thing

each time i find myself 

lying flat on my face

i should never fucking move

because they'll just push me down again

and again

and again

and again

and

again

and 

 

 

again

 

again

 

 

 

 

 

again


	12. WAIT

im so fucking stupid

procrastinate

pro

crast

i

nate.

i should be working

but

my bones wont move

its just over there

in that tab

please just move

stop thinking of trauma.

youre using it as an excuse.

none of it was even real

we're not real and youre FUCKING EVERYTHING UP!!!

JUST

FUCKING

DO 

YOUR WORK

AND STOP

RELIVING FAKE MEMORIES

CREATED BY YOUR OWN FUCKING GUILT


	13. SUIT

ill put on my suit of

human emotions

to make sure that

they will never find out

who i am.

i am hell

i am not real

i am not _human_

i am something else

a creature of some sort.

a creature of want

a creature of hate

a creature of wrath

and i try to hide it

but sometimes i think

people see through

and see

who

i 

really

am


	14. HALL

you know im not ready

you know ill die in there

you know ill fucking be

so fucking scared.

why did he have to tell you?

hes the one who started.

i was just defending

my own retarded

images and self value

im tired of men touching me

i dont want to be fucking

pushed around by him you see

im so fucking sick

my insides are on fire

i want to kill him

but i dont want the jailer.


	15. The Forest Is Calling My Name

 The forest gleams

the woods scream

i hear my name

my veins pump

i run through it

bare feet and band aid on my face

happiness coming along for the race

 I no longer fear

i know im going in there

its calling my name

i see the ghosts of my past

my feet burn

but its calling me

i want to go

i want to be what i am

i want to feel my hooves clack against the forest floor

i want to see the creatures of the night

i want to feel

the forest

inside.


	16. n o s  tal gi a

hoodies and camera tapes

bean bags and nintendo

pokemon on tv

spyro on playstation

i see my childhood home

i see my brother and sister

when mom and dad were happy

i remember when phones didnt matter

when crayons and erasers were currency

red tail and bluestar

books and movies

happiness.

unicorns and mystical beings

birds singing

glowing fog

of pools and playpens

dogs and frogs

salamanders despite warnings

grandma and aunts

i was happy then

maybe

i dont remember

but i like to think

i was


	17. can you feel my heart?

of ricks and morties

of love and supporting

theyve been there for me more than you

more than dad ever, too

christine is getting annoyed

jen is getting there too

i wish someone would listen

to my thoughts of the future, too.

too two to

many words clog my brain

the pumps stuck on folk songs and bird brains

im day dreaming

and oh if you knew what it meant to me

by the end, youd be so weary

oh if you knew what it meant to me

anywhere but here

please listen.

i beg.

a soft song

a gentle tune

oh now look to the east

great mountian remember me

oh i wound around you for miles

i sat down right there to strech my bones

oh if you knew what it meant to me

oh if you knew what it meant to me

you would sing too

oh the unspeakable things.

days like this i see for miles

others i cry

with only the wind whispering

no freidns around me

i can see for miles

with only my thoughts whispering

oh i can see for miles

no family around me

i run as fast as i can

to make it away 

oh why

so drink

only the wind whispering

oh if you knew what it meant to me

oh if you knew

what

you

did

to 

me


End file.
